What is a “Real Man”?

Posted on July 23, 2015 by Neil Stott

In my job I have been working hard on preventing Family Violence in our community. I am a White Ribbon Ambassador, I am the Chair of the Benalla Family Violence Prevention Network. I speak at numerous events and organisations about the problem of Family Violence.

One of the questions that is at the core of this problem is about Male Values. The perpetrators of Family Violence (mostly men) have a problem with power and control. A problem with violence. The question I often ask is, “What went wrong with these men (young men) when they were being brought up that they act like this?”

Below is a quote from Keith Craft about Values:

Seek to be known more for what you are for, than for what you are against.

Ofttimes in this discussion on Family Violence we talk a lot about what we are against, and this quote made me think about What am I for? 

  • I am for women to be safe from family violence from their partners.
  • I am for young men growing up with values of Love, forgiveness, honesty, integrity, leadership, strength of character and the capacity to work in partnership, collaboration and team with each other and with their future partners/spouses.

But I think our young men growing up need help. They need help working out right from wrong. They need mentors and role models that reflect the good things about being a man.

So what do you think? What are the values and virtues that make up a “Real Man”? I would love to have you all share your thoughts and ideas here and discuss it with your friends, families and workmates and in your communities, sporting clubs, churches and social groups.

What is a “Real Man”?

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Very proud of our hard work in reducing Family Violence in Benalla

Posted on November 9, 2014 by Neil Stott

In my work at Benalla we have been making a difference. Have a look at the most recent story from Weeknights broadcast on the 31st October. Many thanks for Weeknights for their strong support of our campaign.

Neil Stott, Chair of the Benalla Family Violence Prevention Network and Sergeant Harry Verbaken, Benalla Police Family Violence Liaison Officer released the 2013-2014 Family Violence Statistics at a Press Conference at Benalla Health. Weeknights reporter Tracey Alexander attended to cover the event and interviewed White Ribbon Ambassador John Lang who told his harrowing story of the murder of his daughter and his journey to become a White Ribbon Ambassador.

Please feel free to share this link.

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Keith Craft nails the role of men in our community

Posted on October 20, 2014 by Neil Stott

Men
“Men need 3 types of relationships:
Paul – a FATHER who will love/challenge.
Barnabas – a FRIEND who encourages.
Timothy – a son who he mentors.”

-Keith A. Craft

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The Challenge of Family Violence

Posted on April 21, 2014 by Neil Stott

I was prompted by a recent discussion on FaceBook to write this response which I am sharing with all my fellow men.

I have been looking at the problem of FV for some time as a White Ribbon Ambassador and Chair of the Benalla Family Violence Prevention Network.

In our community I have been emphasising male responsibility. We males have a responsibility for our actions, as the Victorian Chief Commissioner wrote in today’s paper “It is men who predominantly do the hitting, abusing and killing. It is men’s fault that harm is caused to those they abuse, not the victims” and then makes this challenge “Men need to develop the courage to make it clear to their male friends and family members that violence against women is totally unacceptable”. So we have been talking to our young men about being a courageous leader to call out bad behaviour by their mates. Respond early, not when it is too late.

The other thing I talk about is the deep seated issues of why are young men acting so violently in their close relationships and out on the street? This requires a deep, deep conversation about society itself. To be honest, there is no quick fix. Think about this … the primary offenders are males aged between 16 and 25 years. So something has gone very wrong in the way these young men have been raised. I call this a failure in Values; a failure in Parenting; a failure by Fathers; Yet, I am encouraged that the solution is actually in the hands of men. It is about role models. It is about mentoring. It is about men showing this current generation of young men and those who are just growing up, that there is another way to live their lives.

So in this FaceBook discussion, I encourage men of courage to stand up and be an example to the men in your lives and show them that there is a better way, another way. A way that respects the women in our lives. A way that finds some ancient and timeless wisdom in these biblical values: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Thank you for the opportunity to contribute to this discussion

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White Ribbon Day – All Men should watch this

Posted on January 28, 2014 by Neil Stott

All men should watch this very insightful video on Family Violence.

Posted in Fathers, Men, Values, Violence | Tagged , | Leave a comment