Who is your “Magic 5”?

I went to community discussion in Benalla in 2017 about a particular “at risk” group within our community and first saw the “Magic 5” concept which was both profound in concept and simple to understand.

Everyone one of us need at least 5 good people, reliable, steadfast and true who you can go to at any time and get help and advice. Below is a photo of my Magic 5. My wife and 4 good men that I can go to at any time. I can tell them my issues, my problems and know that I will not be judged, I will be supported, I will be encouraged and most importantly, they will stand with me through whatever issues I am facing. And because I trust them, I know that when it comes to advice, suggestions and perhaps that “reality check” we sometimes need, I can (hopefully) listen and then act and with their help, come out the other side.

And I know from very recent experience, how true this concept is and how important it is to have my “Magic 5” who have got my back.

So then I go back to the question at the start. Who is your “Magic 5”?

Neil's Magic 5

Neil’s Magic 5

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Opinion Piece – Finally Character matters

Neil Stott – White Ribbon Ambassador and Chair of Victorian White Ribbon Committee

For the past 20 to 30 years (and probably longer) there has been an unwritten rule in modern society that the general public don’t really care about what people (men) do in their private lives as long as they are good at their job. We saw this with the President Clinton Monica Lewisky scandal in which even after all of the sleaze, lies and deception he was still rated as a “good” President. We saw this repeated with the surprise election of President Trump. Despite numerous allegations of inappropriate actions (read sexual assault) towards women, tapes of him boasting of his sexual exploits and desires, the American people still elected him.

Yet, in the space of a few months, the Harvey Weinstein scandal, led to the #metoo campaign which led to a massive flurry of scandal exposed resignations of U.S. Senators and Representatives and finally with the shock defeat of another scandal laden candidate, Roy Moore in Alabama. And here in Australia, sex scandals have engulfed the AFL HQ with more high profile resignations.

Suddenly, character matters.

But why hasn’t it always been that way? As a White Ribbon Ambassador working in the North East Victoria, I speak to numerous community groups, mixed groups of men and women, school children, sporting clubs and some mostly men only groups. The challenge I often bring to the men is about the Dichotomy of Men’s Brains. This is the very real and evident concept that men have the capacity to compartmentalise their lives. Work and Home. Home and Community. Work and Sport and so on. An example of this is when a long term relationship (possibly over 20 to 25 years) is exposed to be full of violence and acts of power and control by the man toward their wife / partner. The woman, finally after all of this time of living with this abuse (and fear) has had the courage to come out and report the years of abuse and suddenly it is all out in the open. The reaction from people at the man’s work/community/sporting club is this “But he was such a good man!” The man was quite capable of being the model citizen in all parts of his “visible” and public life, yet at home was abusive to his wife/partner and children.

That is why the White Ribbon campaign is so unique and so important. Good men in the world need to standup, speak out and act to not just support victims and their families but have the courage to call out and challenge the men that they know continue to live this “lie”. The #metoo campaign equally applies to men of courage and conviction who declare enough is enough. Go to the White Ribbon website: www.whiteribbon.org.au and get the fact sheets. Do the online learning package. Sign up to be a Supporter or go the extra mile and start the journey to become a White Ribbon Ambassador. But the time of male inaction is over! The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing

Neil Stott – White Ribbon Ambassador and Chair of Victorian White Ribbon Committee

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Real Men Challenge – men have their say

The goal of “The Real Men Challenge” is to provide a Video and Blog forum for men to speak out about “What is a Real Man”. The short 10 second videos highlight just one key thought that men think is important and will speak to other men.

If you have a short video you want to share, upload to YouTube and send me the link. Note: Swearing, personal attacks, putting down women (or men) will not make the grade!

Neil Stott
White Ribbon Ambassador
Director Community Health – Benalla Health

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Great word from Keith Craft

Courage
When you summon the courage to do what others won’t, you will have in life what others don’t.
– Keith A. Craft

Thought Behind the Quote:
“One day my son and I were driving in the car and I began to talk about Courage: It takes courage to do what is right when others are doing wrong. It takes courage to put God first in every area of your life. It takes courage to save the money you make; invest the money you save and give the the money you have made from investment to advance God’s kingdom.
It takes courage to not be negative in negative situations. It takes courage to be positive…period! It takes courage to believe the best when the worst has been displayed. It takes courage to grow beyond who you naturally are into who you can supernaturally be.
It takes courage to forgive when you have been hurt, especially by those who love you the most. It takes courage to learn from your critics especially when they are not saying what they are saying because they want to help you be better.
It takes courage when you have been corrected to say, ‘Thank you for correcting me and helping me to be better.’ It takes courage to believe against all odds, but without faith it is impossible to please God.
It takes courage to be a man…a man of God, who lives with a transcendent cause to advance God’s kingdom in the earth…but that is how WE are going to live son.
As I ended our conversation, with this Leadershipology, he wrote it down so he could remember it. I am honored by his courage!”

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What is a “Real Man”

With the high levels of Family Violence in Benalla we have started a discussion around this: “What is a Real Man”. What are we teaching our young men as they grow up? What kind of role model are we?

The Real Men Challenge is a discussion forum we are encouraging people in the community to offer their own thoughts on “What is a Real Man?”

 

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