The issue of Toxic Masculinity is again in the papers. Unfortunately, the secular world doesn’t have the answers.
This challenge is not about de-masculinity men. It is about having a meaningful voice and set of consistent values that celebrate manhood without the male blame game that has been tried and failed for the last 10+ years.
From a Christian Father and Grandfather’s perspective the modern Christ following Church has a number of basic tenets that speaks into this problem:
- God awareness – God is always there, always watching. Much of the online, negative & porn is done in secret. Knowing that nothing escapes the attention of God & he will bring light into dark places is a sobering check on male behaviour.
- Love – not the mushy brand or lust, but one which is based on Christ’s example. Self Sacrificial Love. Putting others first.
- Kindness – a forgotten virtue that goes with points 1 & 2. Lots of effort has been made to be more kind. But in Social Media land it is all too easy to let rip against those you disagree with it.
- Forgiveness – the central plank of Christian faith. As we surrender our lives to Christ, God forgives us for our many, many sins and failures. As God forgives us, we should forgive others who have wronged us.
- Empowerment of others – in a self centred world we have all thousands upon thousands of self help books, the majority are focussed on self. As we talk about relationships, men & women should be adopting the self sacrificing practice of doing all that they can to build up, strengthen & encourage their loved ones.
- Good works – We become followers of Christ not to just build the church but to do good, seeking ways to help others who are less fortunate. It is no surprise that those who volunteer live happier and more fulfilled lives because they are helping others.
- Confess your sins – This is about asking for help, not just to God but when you know you are not acting right, thinking right, go to people you trust. Tell them your worries & concerns and ask for help.
- Confront – Call out bad behaviour when you see it. The time for silence is over.
- Prayer – in all things we should pray and when we fall short ask for His forgiveness.
