First posted April 2011
My 25 yr old son managed to break his ankle nearly 2 weeks ago, resulting in a painful long wait in hospital for surgery and then a longer recovery time, the first week not so good for him.
The challenge of being a parent doesn’t change when your children turn 20+ and are a long way from your support, guidance and direction. What do you do when your children make their own choices, make their own decisions (good and bad) and for which you no longer have any control over their lives. Here is some home grown tips from someone who has lived (and is living) through it.
- Love is unconditional. When I took two days off work to be with my son in hospital and he was finally released I was driving him home and he thanked me. I told him that this is what being a Dad is, to love you in the bad times as well as the good times.
- Be available. Not pushing in, not nagging, not getting in their space. No, it is about being there when they need you. This might be a hard thing for some Dads (and especially some mothers).
- Be consistent in your life. Character, values and the example of your own life is what speaks the loudest. I know I probably haven’t got all these things right at different times, but have worked hard to try and live consistently before my children.
- Keep the faith. Almost the same as point 3 but not quite. Being a Christian, living Christian values and demonstrating consistent Christian faith does not come by accident. I was challenged recently by a comment be a leading Christian leader in the US who wrote a book about “Christian Athiests”, about people who claim to be Christians but don’t live anything like how a Christian should live. I certainly don’t want to be like that and for my kids, they need to see the who I am more than what I say I am.
If any of you have any tips that you would like to add to the Real Men Challenge blog, drop me a line at info@realmenchallenge.org.au